March 3, 2011 by Nicole
Say one thing about blogging–it’s interesting to read back to older posts and look at your thoughts. I have been keeping this blog for about a year now, and just for kicks, I looked back at older entries. What I discovered actually stunned me a little.
I was thinking of all those times I wonder about whether God answers prayers. What I found out is that either there are a lot (and I do mean a lot!) of really weird circumstances, or that maybe, just maybe, God has actually been answering my prayers and I have been (insert gasp and slap to the forehead here) ignoring it. It’s like a freaking epiphany.
Prayer #1: March 23, 2010
Dear Jesus, please help me find some money so I can go visit the shrine to your mother in France. Amen.
And, as I recall, $2800 just happened to show up out of nowhere a few weeks back and the confirmation letter arrived on Monday of this last week, not to mention twice has $25 dollars shown up in my checking account as a reward from my bank in the last year, and the steadily climbing trip funds from last year.
Prayer #2: March 31 2010
Dear God, thanks for the music. Feel free to use my iPod or radio in any way that you see fit. Amen.
There have been several times in the last year that oddly appropriate songs have just happened to come on the radio when I was in a funk. There’s the George Michael incident back on July 20, followed most recently by the road sign and Mandisa incident back on February 18th. I also found two Christian songs that I really enjoy, which is quite remarkable considering that I only happen to flip to Christian stations once in a blue moon.
Prayer #3: April 15th, 2010
Dear God, I know that when you made me you gave me a spine. Please give me a backbone too. Amen.
Oddly enough, saying no to people has never been easy for me, largely because I always worried whether I was going to upset someone or hurt their feelings. This year, however, I have not had any problems with sticking to my guns and saying no. It doesn’t really cause me much anxiety anymore. The depression has also been much more manageable in the last few months, in a way it never was before.
Prayer #4: June 1 2010
Dear God, I am trying hard not to worry because you said not to (and you know that this is really hard for me!!), and you said to ask/seek/knock, and I will receive/find/meet with an open door, and I did that too. It’s been going on for a good long while, so now what? Amen.
Those of you who have been following our ups and downs with the whole job saga know that there has been lots of opportunity to worry and stress out. I have, however, gotten much better at not worrying as much; now that’s not to say that the situation doesn’t stress me out, but 80% of the time now I catch myself asking God to give me my daily bread and get me through the rough patches, and suddenly they are a lot more bearable.
Prayer #5: January 14, 2011
This doesn’t technically count as a prayer, but just when I was beginning to despair about being able to go to Lourdes (Trip money had to get used to pay bills) and had, for the most part, decided to put my plans on hold, there was the whole Lady of Lourdes incident. I am fairly sure that you can’t classify it as any sort of apparition, but it was kind of odd that within the span of 5 months, she “showed up” out of the blue five times: once in Time magazine, once on a random horoscope website that I looked at just for fun, once in the news headlines because of a bomb threat at Lourdes, once when I just happened to glance out of the car window while driving past St. Bernadette’s Catholic church in Stanton, and once she briefly popped up in a book I happened to be reading: The Rite by Matt Bagglio.
Now granted, there are lots of other little things that I noticed while perusing my blog that I have a hard time explaining, but I have to say that I am really starting to wonder how that many coincidences can be possible.