April 16, 2011 by Nicole
To begin with, life has been a little rough lately–the road is getting bumpy regarding Randy’s job situation–yet another potential opportunity is sitting in a rather precarious position, presumably because of me and the issue of the Baptist/Catholic marriage. For the last couple of days, I have been really down. I find that I am not so much angry–actually not at all angry–just really saddened. God certainly knows where my faith is weakest right now, and what I have come to decide is that if I have to learn to trust that God has a plan for me, getting so discouraged and despairing over this situation is what I am supposed to be learning how not to do. Please keep Randy and me in your prayers.
On a probably somehow related note, my little study Bible pointed out something to me that makes me very happy. Now please don’t laugh, but apparently being flawed is not so awful. As I continue to read through Genesis, Jacob has just royally pissed off his brother Esau and had to run off to his Uncle Laban until his brother calmed down. As far as I know, I have not royally pissed anyone off (I have it on direct authority from my husband that everyone who knows me loves me, and since he’s a pastor, he wouldn’t lie. 🙂 ), but there is something reassuring when you look at the the types of people that God used to put his plan into action. Jacob, for lack of a better term, was a con man; Moses murdered an Egyptian; David loved God more than anything and still had a man murdered so he could hook up with the dude’s wife, Jonah refused to go to the people he hated and whined about God’s compassion toward them, Peter was a hot head who outright denied he knew Jesus; poor Thomas got labeled (and unfairly, I might add) as a doubter, and even Paul, who was once a merciless persecutor of Christians, became of of the most important voices in converting people to God through his Son Jesus.
And then, there’s me.
Now granted, I am not anywhere close to a candidate for sainthood. But all of these people, despite their flaws, were great leaders who accomplished amazing things, all because they had unwavering trust in God, his plan, and his timing. There is proof that God chooses imperfect people, and maybe someday, I will figure out for what he chose me. Maybe being married to a pastor is a small part of it. So, if that means that I have to go through some bumps and get a few bruises–so be it.