May 11, 2011 by Nicole
As a professor, I think that one way you know for sure that there is a merciful God is that it suddenly occurs to you–Hey! Today’s the last day of the semester! And, while I had a blast working with this semester’s group of students, I am tired. Thinking for a living is an exhausting job sometimes, particularly right around essay and exam grading time.
However, in the stress of getting closer to the end of the semester, it just occurred to me today that there are only 48 days to go until the plane lifts off for France! In light of the struggles and disappointments that my husband and I have gone through with job news in the last few months, it’s nice to have something exciting and wonderful on the horizon. I guess that being so immersed in my job has not given me an opportunity to get really excited just yet.
I wonder if there is a connection here; having been stuck underneath the incredible weight of bad news so many times since February, it’s been hard to get my head back up to look around at the bigger picture. The bigger picture gives those of us who are detail obsessed perfectionists a very different perspective. For this very reason, I have found myself asking God for different things. I used to pray for patience, but now I ask for strength because I feel like I’ve almost hit rock bottom.
I am mindful to be thankful for my home, my car, the clothes on my back, and the food on my table.
For the money that manages to somehow show up when I am in danger of not being able to pay for $4.00+ per gallon gasoline or credit card bills.
For my four happy doggies, three of whom usually want to snuggle and be petted as much as possible, and one of whom I wake up with in my bed on the days I don’t have to wake up early–her little head resting on my leg.
For the warm weather that has been waking up the spring flowers all around my house–even the dandelions.
And most of all, for my husband who remains steady, patient, faithful, and optimistic for the both of us throughout all of the emotional heartbreak that seems to be always right around the corner, waiting for the most opportune time to wreak havoc.