November 7, 2011 by Nicole
Well, I can honestly say that I am still a little shocked that I am actually writing this post, because in all honesty, I never thought I would get to write it! Happy news: Randy has been offered the job with the church in Pennsylvania, and by this time two months from now, I will be blogging from a new city and state.
It’s hard to explain the emotions that I am having because there are so many. I am elated that my husband is finally going to get to realize his call as a pastor in a new way. It’s been such a long time in coming that I am very happy for him to finally be blessed with the opportunity to make God’s ministry his full time employment. Knowing that we’re not going to be struggling to make ends meet every month is hard to come to grips with, especially after having worked so hard for so many years and feeling frustrated at the inability to get ahead. I am also excited about all of the new people I will meet at his church, especially because of how wonderfully kind everyone was to us when we first met. Clearly, there are a million wonderful things that this new chapter in our lives has to offer us.
On the other hand, I do feel a deep sadness knowing that there is a lot that I will be giving up: my church family–especially the wonderful people in the music ministry who have been an integral part of my life for so long now–at St. Andrew’s, my wonderful job at the school where I teach, family and friends being much further away, selling the very first house that my husband and I began our lives in as a married couple and to which we made lots of little improvements that made this house “ours.” And while I know it’s kind of shallow, there is also some sadness involved in leaving the town I live–which is in very close proximity to the city–and moving to a place that, while incredibly beautiful, is also an hour away from the nearest Barnes and Noble and two hours away from the nearest Meijer store. 😦 For those of you reading this blog who have no idea what Meijer is, all I will say is that having one in your town is one of those little things that you take for granted, since not only can you get top of the line, quality groceries there, but just about anything else that you need–and seriously, Walmart pales by comparison. A little part of me dies when I think about it. 😦
The other thing that has been so incredibly amazing to me is the number of people who have prayed along with us for a resolution to this situation. I guess that you never really realize how much it means to know that people care about you so much. It’s overwhelming, really, partly because as a person who has lived for so long with depression, I am humbled and flattered by all of the people who have openly expressed such love for us.
I am whole-heartedly grateful that God has answered my prayers, but as everyone who has ever been in this situation knows, “starting over” or beginning a new chapter in life presents new challenges, namely, it requires you to let go of your attachments to the things and people that bring joy to your life; when I think about it, it requires a lot of sacrifice; one is especially mindful of the ways in which Jesus tells his disciples to “take nothing for the journey,” and the amount of trust it requires to do what the disciples did when they dropped everything, leaving friends and family to follow Jesus. Trusting in God takes on a whole new meaning in this respect, and for me it is no different.
So to end this post, I am directing my attention to all of you whom I know and are my friends (most of you are on my Facebook list). I love all of you very much and I will always be thinking of you and be grateful for the ways in which you have impacted my life; all of you are such good, quality people and have blessed and enriched my life. Saying I will miss you is a gross understatement, and I thank God for Facebook; at least that way you won’t be so far away. 🙂